Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Race for Life

My 11 year old niece and my sister in London are walking in a marathon called Race for Life. The money that will be collected will go towards cancer research in UK.

Anokhi and Mona... it is wonderful that you are participating in this event. Cancer is such a broad term that I never thought about the intensity, the age range that is affected and the lives of the families before. This was something we talked about
and then moved on.

When my mother-in-law was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer I had just moved from NYC to SFO. Still looking for a job after my masters which meant I was a dependant and that word hurt me a bit. Having worked to pay for my very expensive art school in NYC and having left a really good job there my new life in SFO felt a little strange. I realized the frustration of all the HI-B's (dependant spouses) if you do not work you do not have friends, maybe do not have a car which means you are completley dependant and add a new place to the mix.
Around that time we found out that my mother-in-law had cancer and we went to India. On the day I was leaving for India I got a job offer. They needed me to start work in 10 days... I was so torn between my daughter-in-law duties and my much needed independance and ego boost. I had to come back in 10 days and that fact bothered me actually up until yesterday. i.e for 10 years.

Yesterday I was thinking about this and I realized that circumstances pull people in different directions. As a newly wed and a recent grad my entire lifes focus was in proving to myself that I was capable of getting a job and becoming independant and doing what I really enjoyed. We were still in our Honeymoon phase so the insecurity of a total life shift was scary. For so many years everything else was on hold since I was a starving student. A sudden turn of events was totally not a matter of discussion.
In comparison to 10 years back, when Amaey was diagnosed I took -2 seconds to tell Apurva that I was quitting. A job that I so loved. I was more stable in my life. We as a family were more solid and grounded. Our priorities were in order and we respected each other.

Circumstances can definitely test people and relationships.
Looking around me I feel completely blessed that we have such a strong family and wonderful friends that have looked out for us, been there with us. I have known of people that loose friends and family with each test that life puts on them... I'm thankful that we have created more bonds with each difficulty that life has showered on us.

Anokhi and Mona, we wish you two a good walk and I hope you collect the money for your charity. Thanks for walking even though you should medically not be doing so.

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