Friday, May 18, 2012


I have been keeping myself really busy. With 2 classes on campus, our Kids&Art auction, and some freelance work I think I'm stretched. It's good. I'm not complaining at all.

But you know what, filling every waking moment with work or tasks or todo lists doesn't really do much when it comes to what is hurting deep down.

All I have to do is blink and with every blink I see Amaey's beautiful smile. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face lit up, his eyes twinkling from his red glasses.

I was at Arjun's spring tea concert. It was beautiful to hear all the kids perform until the 4th graders get on stage to sing "Here comes the Sun" by Beatles. Tears don't have a lock and key, they don't have an agenda. They are free to come and go as they please. That is exactly how life is for me. I can be staring at his picture for hours, I could be talking about him, I could be spending time with his best friends and have a big smile on my face and all I need is for the breeze to touch me and I'll suddenly be in tears. I'll see a hawk flying on 280 and I'll be in tears...

I guess being busy just helps me get up and out of the house. But if I were to say that it is easign my pain... I'd be lying.

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