Friday, November 02, 2012


I read the newspaper while having my tea in the morning, before I leave for work. One day I read the article on the nanny that killed two little kids she was taking care off. I go to work and one of the bloggers is blogging about that, about the support this mom needs. I could not imagine the grief on the mom’s face to find her kids in the bathtub, dead.

Then Sandy hits New York. I read about a mom whose car got stuck in the rising water and lost hold of her two little kids after she unbuckled them from their car seats. A day later they still haven't found those kids. Read about 2 teenage sisters missing. After I reading these articles, I have been asking myself, is it any easier for a parent who looses a child in such circumstances? Is the pain any different for them?

Some people might be thinking but not saying this to my face, that we should have seen it coming. He had cancer for god’s sake. Does that prepare a parent? The fact that their child has been diagnosed with cancer, does that mean parents should start preparing themselves?

A family friend of ours had a son with down and he drowned in a swimming pool and died. As an outsider what comes to your head, maybe it is better for the child, what kind of life would he have had growing up. Maybe it is better for the parent, they would have had to take care of this child even in their old age. But as a parent, do you see it that way? Do you look at your children as loss and gain? Do you plan on cutting your losses and moving on?

What does a natural calamity like Sandy teaches us about loss? New Yorkers were made aware of the devastating extent of Sandy. They should have prepared themselves. That mom should not have been out driving with her kids, people should have known better. Really? Are we to know that a storm will suddenly leave you roofless or even, homeless and worst of all, childless?

Do you call this destiny? Do you call this gods will? Was there a reason that the kids were swept away and not the mom?

With all the preparedness and technology out there to detect the biggest storms and hurricanes in this 21st century, there is nothing, nothing at all that can prepare one for the loss of a child. Whether the child was lost in a sudden accident, or after an illness, the loss of a child is one singular phenomenon that science cannot predict or find ways to make it tolerable. What Sandy teaches us is, loss comes in many shapes and forms, and we really have no control after all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your posts always brings tears to my eyes. You write beautifully. - Abby.