Monday, January 31, 2011

You are on hold, please wait.

What does it mean to be on hold. I'm not one of those that can ever answer that question. Or I should say I wasn't one of those. For me being on hold was not an option, you did what you felt like, when you felt like it. If it is important to you, you will find a way to do it why should something hold you back.
But being on hold becomes part of your life when you become a cancer parent. You know in India when you would call a government office you would get a  recording that would say, you are in queue please wait. Yup that is how life is for a parent with a child fighting a life threatening disease.
You are given a timeline and you dash to make it through, rushing for the finish line. You put your entire life on hold to make the deadline. When you get to the finish line, suddenly you find out that there is more, the race is not over yet. You pack-up your sandwiches, put on your running shoes and get on track, again. In the meantime life has passed you by. More than half of your child's life has gone by.
You look for the silver lining. The brighter side of life. The meaning beneath all of this. The underlying message.
Funny thing is, this staying on hold business can become part of your life. You can get good at it. You can suddenly carve out a niche by figuring out how to make something out of nothing. You can become a queen at making the most of cancelled plans. You can carve out some memories from nothing. You learn to make the most of rainy days.
Being on hold becomes an alternative lifestyle. You know, like being a hippy. No cares, no time lines, nowhere to go. Just love and your, forever on hold, lifestyle.

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