8 months today

I met a friend at Trader Joes today and she was asking me how I was... my instant reaction is to say I'm ok, each day is different, but today, in my head I was counting the months and hours. I don't mean to. That is not what I want to remember. That is not how I want to remember Amaey either but somehow all the days around the 25th seem to be building up to a climax that I don't want to re-live.

I was sitting with Arjun and Apurva and told Arjun that this might be the last auction for Kids & Art and Arjun looks at me and says why? I said, do you want to be associated with cancer for all your life? Don't you want to move on now that Amaey is not with us? Do you think we should continue with Kids & Art? And without blinking he said, if Amaey was here he would have said, Ma I'm not the only child with Leukemia...

Yes, that is true, that is what Amaey would have said. Arjun knows him so well. That is the Amaey I want to remember. The compassionate, giving, and loving Amaey.

Amaeyzing Music

Yesterday was Arjun and Amaey's music schools performance day. This is the end of the school year performance and kids that are invited to participate get their level graduation medals.

Arjun got his level 1 in guitar. He played a beautiful tune on the guitar with Ms. Simone accompanying him on piano. It was beautiful.

We also made a short video as a dedication to Amaey. If he were here he would have performed and received his level 4 medal. Here is the link to the video and yes he did get his medal.

http://youtu.be/cD6uZzAN9d8

Busy

I have been keeping myself really busy. With 2 classes on campus, our Kids&Art auction, and some freelance work I think I'm stretched. It's good. I'm not complaining at all.

But you know what, filling every waking moment with work or tasks or todo lists doesn't really do much when it comes to what is hurting deep down.

All I have to do is blink and with every blink I see Amaey's beautiful smile. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face lit up, his eyes twinkling from his red glasses.

I was at Arjun's spring tea concert. It was beautiful to hear all the kids perform until the 4th graders get on stage to sing "Here comes the Sun" by Beatles. Tears don't have a lock and key, they don't have an agenda. They are free to come and go as they please. That is exactly how life is for me. I can be staring at his picture for hours, I could be talking about him, I could be spending time with his best friends and have a big smile on my face and all I need is for the breeze to touch me and I'll suddenly be in tears. I'll see a hawk flying on 280 and I'll be in tears...

I guess being busy just helps me get up and out of the house. But if I were to say that it is easign my pain... I'd be lying.

Kids & Art - Art Acution

We were planning our art auction for summer 2011 but 2011 was a whirlwind. Our Kids & Art families have created some amazing art and we are please that are planning an event to celebrate all the art.

Celebration of Life - Auction of art created by kids and families touched by cancer.
June 3, 4-7pm
Gallery 4N5, San Francisco

Purchase Ticket:
http://www.eventbee.com/v/kidsandartorg