Wednesday, April 25, 2012

7 months

We started a science award in Amaey's school.
5 finalists were choosen from the graduating 5th grade science fair. The decision was based on Coolness factor(what would Amaey find cool), creativity, and actual scientific method. we asked the 5 children to write an essay on how and why they are passionate about science.

On April 19 we awarded the first, Amaey Shah Passion for Science award. It was a bitter sweet event for the 3 of us. Amaey told me he wanted to grow up and work for NASA. He wanted to go to the red planet. He wanted to invent jet shoes. When he got glasses I told him, Amaey an astronaut cannot wear glasses, I'm sorry baby you might not be able to become an astronaut but hey, by the time you grow up maybe rules would have changed. His science teacher, Madame Atom said that maybe he could do the more important job of staying down and making sure the people up there knew what they were doing. 

These possibilities made him quite happy with the future prospects. He wanted to grow up and be famous. He knew that science was his thing.

When science let him down, he was sad.

 On the radio I keep hearing about private missions to the moon. Plans to get to mars. Making manned missions more possible in this lifetime. In Hindu philosophy we believe in reincarnation. We believe that something that you did not get to complete in your life, you will be born again to take care of it. Maybe in his current life, this is all the time he was given. Maybe he had to go through what he did as part of his last life. Now he is free. Free to start fresh. Free to do whatever he wants in a new body. I would like to believe that someday he will be able to fulfill his dreams with a healthy and happy body.

I love you Amaey, wherever you are.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Piano lessons

I decided to take piano lessons at Amaey and Arjun's music school. I started in January and I'm really loving it. I feel like I'm playing for Amaey. When I'm struggling I look at his photo and I can see him asking me to not be hard on myself and keep trying. When I do really well, I feel he is proud of me.

I can feel him hovering around the piano jumping from his left to right feet. He could never stand still when he was excited. He loved hopping on his feet.
He would have been a great teacher. I know he would. When he was learning, I did not know how to read music so when he needed help I was of no use.
There is a song he was learning towards the end... The Spanish bolero, I think. He played it in the hospital. He would serenade the nurses with that tune. I loved that tune. That is what I'm aspiring to get to. My instructor told me... It's atleast 2-3 books away, quite advanced. He made it seem so easy. Well I'm up for the challenge...

Monday, April 02, 2012

Arjun's school

Arjun's school is celebrating culture week and today was India/pak/Persian day. They had lots of events from Bollywood dancing to dandia for all the teachers to dressing all the faculty. In the afternoon they had henna and rangoli and more fun and at pick-up they had a fashion show. I haven't felt like participating in things but I do. I was looking at what to wear and picked something understated... And Amaey came to my mind. He told me once that he thought that I was always well dressed and knew how to dress for an occasion. He was right to some extent, even if we were going to the hospital I would make sure I did my best to make a fun event of it. I never made our hospital visits and long stays into a boring, unfortunate outing. It was something we had to do and we were going to do it in style.

On that note I went to my closet and decided I was going to dress for the catwalk. I took outfits for Arjun and his friends and it turned out to be a really nice event. I wasn't sad that Amaey wasn't there but I felt like he was walking with me when I walked down the red carpet with Arjun.