The flight from San Francisco to Mumbai was hard. I could see Amaey everytime I closed my eyes. Our flight to Tel Aviv came vividly back to me. I kept seeing him sleeping and an internal tension brewing inside me. I did not think that a journey we had embarked on would be cut so short.
I did not know what a panic attack felt like, what anxiety attack meant. I have never felt claustrophobic before. All I wanted was for the plane to land in Mumbai. All I wanted was for this journey to end, the plane to stop and to run away as far as I could. I just wanted to go home. I had such a headache and could not shake it off. I was bad company for Arjun. He kept asking if I was fine and I kept hoping it will get fine but 16hrs later it still wasn't. I use to love going on journeys, longer the better. I loved the freedom I felt from being in the sky, seeing the different formations of the clouds, catching a rare glimpse of a sunset and a sunrise. Being able to get the most beautiful view of the world below, dazzling lights of a fleeting city in the night sky, and sometimes, just vast expanses of nothingness.
But not this time. This time I was hugging sir hoppy bun bunz and thinking about the various flights we had taken as a family.
I will have to find a way to get over this fear of flying because Amaey's bucket list is long and exotic - LegoLand, New York, Greece, Egypt... to name a few.
I did not know what a panic attack felt like, what anxiety attack meant. I have never felt claustrophobic before. All I wanted was for the plane to land in Mumbai. All I wanted was for this journey to end, the plane to stop and to run away as far as I could. I just wanted to go home. I had such a headache and could not shake it off. I was bad company for Arjun. He kept asking if I was fine and I kept hoping it will get fine but 16hrs later it still wasn't. I use to love going on journeys, longer the better. I loved the freedom I felt from being in the sky, seeing the different formations of the clouds, catching a rare glimpse of a sunset and a sunrise. Being able to get the most beautiful view of the world below, dazzling lights of a fleeting city in the night sky, and sometimes, just vast expanses of nothingness.
But not this time. This time I was hugging sir hoppy bun bunz and thinking about the various flights we had taken as a family.
I will have to find a way to get over this fear of flying because Amaey's bucket list is long and exotic - LegoLand, New York, Greece, Egypt... to name a few.
1 comment:
Hope you are enjoying the land portion of your trip... and that the visit with family and friends make it all worth it! Wishing you a great holiday season there and an easier flight back, Renata
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