Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Trying to understand the meaning of life

I have been craving spiritual guidance since Amaey's recent relapse. I feel used and wiped clean of thinking and planning and doing anything. I have been craving some spiritual guidance. I downloaded the Bhagwad Gita on my iPad. This is an excerpt version of the big book but it is just the right amount of words for me right now.

Something I read today is what I need to keep telling myself--
"You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty."

As a parent, especially a mom, I have wondered what I might have done wrong to have my child suffer in this way. I wondered where I failed as a mom. The Gita is teaching me to perform my duty as a mom and not do it for the outcome. This is hard because the outcome is what keeps you going. The hope that Amaey will get out of this vicious cycle, the hope of getting cured, the hope for a better life. How does one selflessly parent without hoping for the best for the child?


Anonymous said...

Dear Purvi,

I think you are already selflessly parenting and making the best of it. I think what you are giving to Amaey is the attitude to hope for the best and to never give up and lose confidence. Loving each other unconditionally and to the fullest is what you can do best. From what I heard, God promises to accompany through the journey if we look for him. Then you focus more on the journey and not so much on the destination. There are so many unanswered questions and we will continue praying for your family. Sending you all warm hugs.

Anonymous said...


You are not only an incredible person and friend but also a wonderful mother.

We do not always have control over what happens in our lives, but we can chose how we react to our circumstances. Through all this, your strength and courage seem limitless.

Arjun and Amaey are lucky to have such a wonderful role model. Please never doubt yourself.

You are a true inspiration for me.


Anonymous said...

Dear Purvi,

You & Apurva are the best parents a child can wish for - your strength, courage, positiveness, determination, selflessness and the ability to remain sane under these situations is truly amazing - you have raised such wonderful boys - loving, talented and full of life. Do NOT let anything in the world, doubt yourself and do NOT loose faith and hope - Amaey will be fully cured - praying for the most wonderful family we know! And sending lots of positive vibes and love to you all...


Anonymous said...

Dear Purvi,

As a cancer parent I also sometimes wonder if maybe my child is suffering because of something that i have done. But then I feel god is in control at all times, so he will only give what we can handle. Stay strong and just focus on caring for your child right now, this is exactly what he needs right now. I know it is easy said then done, but amaey is following your courage and he is looking up to you for strength to fight cancer. God bless your family.

Mary Claire said...

Purvi, you and Apurva are the best parents!.. and you both have done everything you possibly could. You are running this race with Amaey. Take time every day to cry, to meditate, to read the Bhagavad Gita. Let go and have faith...let God carry you and Amaey through. I think there is a chapel in the hospital. Please go there, do this. It will keep you strong for each day. Certain days are low and others full of hope. Imagine all of our prayers as light supporting you, Amaey, Apurva and Arjun. Keep your faith, breathe and know you are being carried.